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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28941927">Sleeping at last (HIATUS)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/lucodak/pseuds/lucodak'>lucodak</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Hermitcraft RPF, Minecraft (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Blood and Gore, Blood and Injury, Character Death, Decked Out, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Heavy Angst, Intrusive Thoughts, Keralis ravager goes HAM, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sleep Deprivation, Video Game Mechanics, cuddles why, i trusted you, impulsesv has a sad time and tries to move on badly the fanfic, overworked tango tek, redstone from the pov of a someone who knows no redstone, tango trains ravagers like owen grady trains raptors</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-05-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 04:08:02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>8,700</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28941927</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/lucodak/pseuds/lucodak</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>When Tango notices an issue with his clank system in Decked out through the Hermits' runs, he didn't expect what followed next.<br/>Now the server is left picking up the pieces.</p><p> </p><p>Any relationships are up to the reader<br/>This work is now on a hiatus for a while</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>No Romantic Relationship(s), Tango Tek &amp; Zedaph (Video Blogging RPF), Up to interpretation - Relationship, impulseSV &amp; Tango Tek &amp; Zedaph (Video Blogging RPF), impulseSV &amp; Tango Tek (Video Blogging RPF), impulseSV &amp; Zedaph (Video Blogging RPF)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>31</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. All I want is to flip a switch, before something breaks that cannot be fixed</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Please don't read if violence and gore are triggering to you because I pushed my writing skills of gore and description, while it's not the goriest that has ever existed. (Stares at Hermitbrine.) it's one of the goriest I've written maybe more so than duality but I had to edit out the worse and gorier stuff</p><p>I had the concept of this idea back before the Decked over had finished and before merch was released. I had an earlier version written out at the beginning of December and was where I got the original concept for the Witherpulse AU (I did find it from hermitheadcanons on Tumblr but I saw the title and contents and decided to make my own version to write about) and the original version of this story didn't have a choose your own ending and had flashbacks that would have ruined plot points for Witherpulse so I rewrote it.</p><p>I finished this one today and have been chipping away at it for several weeks when I could.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was supposed to be an easy task. Go in and fix a pufferfish detector. But with Tango involved, that never was the case. Either way, when he was supervising the Hermits' runs in the dungeon there was always a spot where it had been broken and would refuse to generate clank. It was strange that it had suddenly stopped working as he tested his redstone in the game so many times and yet it just rolled over and died.</p><p>Maybe it was something to do with chunk borders?</p><p>He hadn't checked that but he would have to rip up the floor and grab the little blighter of a pufferfish before it poisoned him with its devilish spines. It sounded simple enough. If you ignored the fact that there were ravagers in the dungeon. But with Tango's skill of ravager wrangling and avoiding the beasts, it would be easier. Especially when they were used to his presence and didn't always attack him.</p><p>No one had died in a while so they were out for blood.</p><p>Tango made sure his armour was tightly fastened as he ducked into his maintenance "door" (which just consisted of mining through a wall with a pickaxe and replacing). He didn't bother saying it was closed as it would be a quick task to do. But in his defence, he had built so many of these that he could build them in his sleep. Rest, of which, was something he was lacking since all the Hermits were using decked out so much that he couldn't take a damn break as something was constantly out of service from them snapping it up.</p><p>The tiredness buzzed in the back of his mind inconsistently, a drumming throb against his skull as he walked. It made him extremely sloppy with his work even if he tried to not cut corners. He just forgot how things worked with redstone and got overwhelmed by the red crossing wires and woollen tracks sprawled across the floor. He ended up labelling everything to figure it out.</p><p>The Dungeon Master ducked past the lobby and the sprawling shulker monsters that encompassed his spaces as he walked under the game. It was eerily silent down here, despite having the clank meter down here, yet it was shut off so he heard absolutely nothing. He wasn't used to the silence as he normally had to listen to the hum of the wiring as it ran.</p><p>Which he was glad he didn't have to hear. That would have messed up his head way more than his lethargy could.</p><p>He couldn't count how many times his hands were too shaky to work as he held himself together with some diligence. Where he held his self-discipline, Tango didn't know. Yet he still pushed himself on because no one else knew the wiring as he did, and he was the only one who was allowed to be back here. He couldn’t ask someone else for help without giving them an advantage, which he didn’t want. But it was fine, the blond was so used to tweaking and adapting to changes he didn’t foresee that he ran on autopilot within the redstone sprawled across every centimetre of stone and wool that lay in the caverns residing underneath the game.</p><p>He wasn’t surprised when he would randomly fall asleep in the lobby, slumped against a wall with parted lips and limp limbs. The pleasant feeling of a blanket draped around his shoulders as he was left in whatever corner he had been stuck in. It was more surprising when someone sneaked into the employee area when he passed out, still waking out who knows when with a blanket. Someone probably saw his name while they played a run and realised he had been sat vacantly for long enough to be counted as AFK by the server and come to investigate. Or told Impulse or Zed.</p><p>The experience left him disoriented and confused when he stirred, confused how he got in some places and would eventually shrug it off and continue where he remembered he last was. Picking up the pieces of discarded wiring and finishing the job. Or just judging himself because he realised that he really messed up before passing out that it was probably a good idea that he slept.</p><p>Yet he still didn’t on his own accord.</p><p>Unless his body demanded him to.</p><p>It wasn’t his fault, most of the time at least. Tango had extremely underestimated what he had to do (day in and day out) to keep his game alive and in an appropriate standard for how quickly the hermits ran the game dry. It was hard keeping up with demands with his diminished supply and time on his disposal, that he couldn’t help but put way more effort into it than necessary.</p><p>Everything had to be perfect. Did it not?</p><p>The Dungeon Master ran his fingers over cold smooth stone bricks, fingers in the grout as he followed the structure till he hit dark oak. The throne room. The draft under the floorboards bit his skin softly as he looked around nervously. When he looked at his creation from the pit of its belly, he couldn’t help but feel at awe of the intricacy and dedication he poured in. Tango didn’t see himself as a good builder most of the time, but if you showed him Decked out, he wouldn’t have believed you if you said he made it. Probably because he couldn’t remember making it. But that’s beside the point. He moved on as he inspected the redstone from below. It looked all in working order, but he couldn’t tell what the problem was. Maybe resetting the pufferfish could work?</p><p>He poked a hole through into the throne room. It was easier to fix the contraption from above than below, couldn’t risk any water pouring out and soiling his hard work. Mainly as he would struggle to put it back together how it used to be. So may as well avoid that problem in the first place then.</p><p>Tango pushed away plush carpet from where he knew the circuitry to reside as he quickly tore up the floorboards in a way that would mean that he could just place them back later and not cause too many issues to him in the future. Well, that was his plan with most things in the project yet they still caused an abundance of problems he couldn’t escape so what even was the point with that logic? It was already deemed ridiculous by fate. Especially as he stood there with an axe in hand, the edge sharp and heavy in his hands while it shimmered, his body was poised and prepared, while his mind lagged several moments behind his own actions.</p><p>A broad, polished quartz chair stood ahead of him as tango straightened up, gazing straight into the eyes of himself, while his counterparts’ were duller than his own it still was rather brutal with his face staring back at him. The way he was sat was a combination of regal but casual, some controlled coolness that seemed to be lacking from his own demeanour. Instead of the old faded ochre band to hold his mess of golden locks back sat a flashy ferrous crown, the points sharpened with redstone and diamonds set into the iron to embellish it. Tango had polished the thing like crazy before he opened up the game for the first game, since then part of the stand’s face and crown had been sprinkled with an unfortunate hermit’s blood.</p><p>In his hands held a trident, the prismarine was ornately decorated with iron as the two light colours blended, the weapon held loosely in his hands as he smirked at Tango, the still thing judging his fate like he had been thrown in front of him for some crime, the decision that the monarch wanted was easy. More blood for his cause. In his other was a ravager’s head, like it was a glorified Hamlet.</p><p>Either side of him stood a replica or False and Wels, their iron armour was embellished with Tango’s family’s crest, Similar to his crown and trident. Their armour polished to the extreme that the blond could see his face staring back at him once more, his eyes slightly wider than usual as he tore his gaze away. The two knights’ icy gazes were firm and set on him with bold blue eyes, a tight frown on their faces. Their armour was decorated with such intricate patterns that Tango assumed that he had done it but had no recollection of it taking place. It was done with such a steady hand and there were no mistakes in the armour that he was surprised that he had done that well in such a sleep-deprived state.</p><p>The blond turned away and focused his attention on the spot on the floor where he had ripped the boards up, kneeling beside it as he investigated the device. He found his problem pretty easily after staring at it for a second. Somehow the pufferfish had glitched into the glass in the minecart and was out of range of the observer that he had so it no longer triggered the clank gauge. This would be an easy fix.</p><p>Famous last words, Tango.</p><p>He fell into a swing of vexation as his hands trembled, he must have done a passable job with the armour stands as he felt like if he slipped up now he would find a trident piercing his stomach. He swallowed down his anxiety and chagrin as he placed down a bucket he had in his inventory, setting the metal object behind him as he drew his axe in one fell swoop, striking it down on the corner of the minecart as he set it beside him. Tango fiddled for the bucket and scooped up the water and the pufferfish, the darned marine creature puffed up, spines flaring. To be fair if someone picked up tango in a bucket from where he was he would be angry too.</p><p>The water sloshed out of his grasp as he set the bucket beside him, scanning in his inventory for any rails he may own. He came up empty and it left him placing an ender chest and opening the void storage device with a soft vwoop filled his ears coinciding with the distant growls of ravagers that echoed and rumbled in the dungeon. Ravagers that were hungry. Ravagers that may want the blood of what they would consider as being leader and father. See they had been around him for so long, they grew up around his presence, he trained them somewhat and fed them but he still disciplined them as to not let the beasts walk all over him.</p><p>He didn’t know why but Tango always found them stopping and becoming intrigued in his presence. Curious and weary as they would tilt their heads at him with a curious thrum.</p><p>He plucked out his redstone box and searched for some rails and placed them down on the glass. When he heard it. A low growl down the corridor, he shrugged it off simply and didn’t make any moves as he worked on the redstone. He placed down his minecart. It was fine. Tango placed down the barriers over the doorways.</p><p>When the growl didn’t stop and the thuds of the beast’s footsteps just grew in volume as he glanced up. Catching a flash of a smirk on the stands’ face as he spun around and the colour drained from his face.</p><p>It was not fine. It was so not fine. Far from it.</p><p>Tango had messed up bad, and before he could grasp the handle of his axe or sword or form any words in a yell the force of a ravager crushed into his chest, horns denting the diamond armour as it crumpled up the strong sheathing easily under its weight as the air was forced out of his chest with a scream. Scratched armour dug into his ribs and skin, something warm on his chest as the cold and merciless gaze of the vibrant emerald green eyes was on his. They normally didn’t attack him, they were friendly with him. Just an affectionate head rub and nip at his hands when he stroked their thick skin between their horns.</p><p>Other people thought ravagers were ugly creatures but there was something sweet in their eyes, hidden intelligence in their actions. Forced into the words and sway of pillagers without a protest.</p><p>Water had been sloshed on the floor, the clang of the bucket as it had been knocked over and rolled around. It had effectively freed the little pufferfish as the ravager growled and pulled away, retracting its horns to roar at the fish. Clawing at it as it battered at it. The sounds were slightly higher, the markings darker brown spots on their back. Cuddles.</p><p>Tango inspected the damage as he forced himself up, he was panting hard as he clutched at his chest, he could only assume that some ribs had been broken from the impact. A dribble of blood ran from his chest and his lips as he splashed in the water. Water clung to him as he pushed himself up to collapse against the wood hard. Tango felt lightheaded as he recovered his breath, vision slightly fuzzy as he tried again and managed to get to his feet, axe in his hand as Cuddles looked up at him.</p><p>She had left the pufferfish alone, her thick skin allowed her to not get stung by the aquatic creature’s poisonous spines, Tango didn’t have that ability, unfortunately. Her stare was set firmly on him as she bared her teeth and clawed at the ground in anticipation of a charge. Tango couldn’t help but shake. Nothing was more painful or fast as a death from a ravager.</p><p>“Cuddles- hey hey hey be a good ravager, you want food? I’ve got food!” Tango fumbled for time as it was to no avail, she just snorted at him. His gaze glanced to the doorways, he didn’t barricade them. He felt so stupid. No wonder she got in!</p><p>The Dungeon Master stumbled over his feet as he backed away, stepping too close to the fish as he had kept his gaze locked on the ravager. A good way of showing his control was showing no fear but the unanticipated attack made it hard to grasp his emotions and keep them under wrap, the adrenaline pounding his ears as he staggered slightly, left hand over his chest as the axe was held in his right. Sharp diamond fragments stuck into his hand as he clamped it over his bruising chest. The ravager seemed to eye him up for a second, pausing for him as he felt the spines pierce his skin through the wet thin leather of his black boots. He yelped as he shook it off, more of the spines pinpricking his skin for him to get it off him.</p><p>He felt the stone bricks roughly grate at his armour with a screech as Tango froze up, blinking at Cuddles who’s growling had become white noise in his ears, she had taken her time before charging straight at him, her curiosity running out for the prospect for food and saw red.</p><p>He couldn’t throw himself out of the way or move, his body completely locked up as his knees shook under him, mouth slightly agape as the ravager slammed straight into him. Tango couldn’t help but scream as her sharp horns rammed right under where his chest plate ended. He could feel tears pinprick in his eyes as he squirmed as his back was smashed further against the stone with the force of the blow. Not even the adrenaline could numb the pain as he could hear his heartbeat in his throat and resonate in his head, pounding with every ache as his breathing grew erratic in his eardrums. The blond balled up his fist as he punched straight at Cuddles’ face - ravagers had a weak spot on their nose, similar to sharks, they were land sharks. Cuddles didn’t enjoy that and growled more, shaking herself to get away from him, like he was the danger. Sure. The shaking of her head felt like her horns were ripping him apart as they tore the wounds in his abdomen more, ripping his flesh to shreds as blood cascaded onto her dark grey skin. With that, she pulled away with a defeated whine.</p><p>The absence of the horns in his midriff allowed the blood to pour steadily from the injuries with every heartbeat it gushed out. Tango blinked as he looked down, arm clamped over his gut to at least stop the blood but it just stained his bare skin a rich deep crimson with his ichor. It dropped to the floor under him pooling on the floor as he gripped at the wall, his axe clattering out of his hands deafeningly as he winced. Eyes screwed shut as he leant against the wall hard. His legs wouldn’t stop aching, knees buckling as they threatened to give way, vision flickering out of focus.</p><p>Ravagers weren’t to be messed with. He already knew that and he definitely knew that now. Where Cuddles had gone, he had no clue. Losing track of her for his own health sake when he wasn’t even out of harm’s way.</p><p>Tango felt freezing as he shivered, the room spinning as his vision swam, the detailed features of the room lost on him as his legs finally caved, sending him to collapse into the water. Or was it blood? He didn’t know. He gasped from the cold water against his skin as he fell on his front, a loud splash in his ears as his nose hurt from crashing against the wooden slats that he had to force himself out of the water as he had snorted it up his nose, it smelt coppery as it burned in pain.</p><p>He weakly scratched at the clasps of his chest plate, fumbling for the clasps with shakey wet fingers. The blond managed to pull it off so he could reach the wounds better and let out a shallow sigh after, throwing it somewhere on the floor nearby as he grasped for his communicator.</p><p>It was hard to keep his eyes open, hard to keep himself awake as he typed, hands weak. Tango knew somewhere in the back of his mind that he needed help, that he needed to get out of here, needed to sort himself out and heal. He knew that if he bled out then he would permo, and never respawn. His wounds were too detrimental to be healed with a respawn. The blond felt too heavy to move, the water and blood sodden his clothes and skin as he clutched the wounds tightly as he could with a bitter whine.</p><p>With his pounding head, it was hard to make sense of the blood that endlessly pumped from him, running like sludge-like tar as he breathed shallowly.</p><p>The pain punched him in the face as his adrenaline wore out, the agony crashing over him in a tidal wave as he groaned with grit teeth and a tightly clenched jaw. The sounds around him were muted and faded away, distorted except for his own pants of breath as he felt nausea in the back of his mouth. Bile in his throat. He felt like he was going to throw up from the overwhelming smell of coppery blood invading his senses as he grew weaker and weaker.</p><p>He was so tired, he wanted to sleep even though he knew that if he fell asleep he may never stir. The communicator slipped out of his hands as he pressed enter, the device dropping into the water as his hands fell limp. His thoughts had slowed as he just couldn’t think. What day was it? What time? What did he even send to his friends? Panic ran rampant in his brain as he tried to find an answer as he spiralled. Vision tunnelled as his breathing grew shallower, his pulse was erratic but faint. Would his friends even find him?<br/>Or was he lost forever?</p><p>Was he hopeless?</p><p>Was it over?</p><p>He didn’t even get to say goodbye.</p><p>He faded out of consciousness as something warm pushed into his side sadly, a small low rumbling whimper danced across his skin with a hot tickling breath as it was pushed into one of his limp hands. Its breathing was loud and grounding as it overwhelmed every other noise he heard in his jaded mind, pushing out the constant thought of his heart knocking against his broken ribs. Its skin was thick and coarse under his hand.</p><p>It felt familiar at least, but he couldn’t string his brain cells enough to fathom what was going on. Mind already gone into the cesspit of delirium. The bloody water didn’t feel so cold anymore with the warm thing beside him.</p><p>The room didn’t feel as alone.</p><p>His energy wilted as he felt it drip away, fading to the darkness of unconsciousness as every sound and sense was reduced to nothing.</p><p> </p><p>He just hoped Impulse wouldn’t be mad at him.</p><p> </p><p>Or Xisuma.</p><p> </p><p>Tango didn’t want the hermits to blame themselves for his mistake.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>There will be two endings so you can either have the angst you want, or the fluff you need to recover after this kinda stuff. They may be a while till they are uploaded and ill edit tags when that happens but I'm currently sitting on a report I need to write for 2 days time.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. All at once the dark clouds depart and the damage is done</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I decided to change my idea and instead of this having a sad and happy ending its just going to be a long journey that I'll take at my own pace.</p><p>Sorry my posts are taking so long, I've rewritten this chapter about 3 times wrote about 9k words all together.</p><p>TW FOR GORE DESCRIPTION AND BLOOD</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>He had never felt more afraid in his life, never felt the fear that threatened to spill out of the cavity ripped in his chest as he saw a message that tore his soul from his body. Dripping out slowly like fresh tears. This had to be a joke, a prank. The world was lying to him, yet some part of him knew what was happening before he even processed it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Tango: help</b>
  <b>
    <br/>
  </b>
  <b>Tango: pleas ehelpe heel pleaseplease<br/></b>
  <b>Xisuma: tango where are you?<br/></b>
  <b>impulseSV: tango?<br/></b>
  <b>Zedaph: tango please respond<br/></b>
  <b>Xisuma: he’s in decked out<br/></b>
  <b>impulseSV: let me go find him</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Impulse’s hands were too shaky like the winter gale’s force had rippled through the lands and caused it, he wished it did. It would be better than this. He froze in the snow shrouding him as his limbs froze with heavy dread, pushing him down as his body wanted to cave. He forced himself to move and abandoned his shop.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His communicator slipped from his grasp as his footfalls pounded on the stone and andesite, frantic and heavy breathing as he willed himself on for the calming of his heart. Was he too late? Would he be gone or would he be on time? All he could do was presume the worst as silence fell on his ears, white noise buzzed with his breathing as the air gushed from his parted lips. It felt like the world had stopped and he knew why. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He didn’t become distracted by wandering other’s builds, didn’t distract as he watched the sunset on the horizon, didn’t distract as the sun’s light reflecting on the ocean as its waves lapped the island that they called their shopping district, didn’t let his gaze deviate from his creation as he urged himself on. The warm ginger light cast a warm glow that would only grow cold in time, it marked the end of a day. A day that never should have come.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“TANGO!” The yell tore on his lips as his feet met nether bricks as he descended into the earth, he felt lightheaded, his head stuffed with air. There was nothing there except for his rambling and churning thoughts. It met deaf ears as he pushed through the lobby.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Tango?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Where was he?</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Tango?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Is he okay?</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Tango?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <em>
    <span>Is he gone?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>The silence continued, the lobby was dead. The game without a pulse and at a standstill as he noticed an opening as he trekked further and further into the depths of the labyrinth. It was one of tango’s many employee maintenance holes and he pushed through it into the underbelly of the creation. The only noise was the dripping of water and lava, the growls of ravagers and their stomps ahead. He hoped that Tango had just passed out when he was working. It had happened before and it could happen again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But something knew that wasn’t the case.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He found an opening above as light cascaded from the medieval district and as he came closer he could tell something was dripping. Closer still he could smell something metallic. Even closer he could see red. A puddle on the floor had destroyed the redstone underneath, Tango’s hard work was washed away like a distant memory. It was distressing to see all of it gone from an accident. It was an accident, right?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Right?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Time dragged on harshly as the only thing he could hear was the quiet plopping of water on the floor as he reached for the dark oak floorboards as he jumped to pull himself up. Fingers losing grip as he dropped into the water with a groan. Water dripped onto his face and shirt, dampening his skin and clothes as he laid there for a second more, shoulders aching as he tried again and rose to his feet as he grasped the floor and hauled himself up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Tango? You here?” He glanced around the room as he blinked hard. “Oh god- oh god no-no-no.” He ushered as his blood ran cold as he stopped in his tracks, muscles freezing like ice as his eyes widened. NO this wasn’t real. Impulse tried to process what the hell he was looking at as his head pounded and dark spots danced in his vision as he stepped forwards, inching towards him as his knees caved and he crashed into the floorboards below. Water splashed as his netherite armour clanked, words lost on the cold breeze that swept and drafted through the dungeon. It chilled him to the bone like a sombre funeral march.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Impulse gaped at it all, it was so overwhelming as the coppery smell of blood invaded his nose and drilled home that it wasn’t redstone dripping from the heavens above. It was blood. Tango’s blood. The sight churned his stomach as he swallowed hard down the bile that rose and bubbled in his abdomen as he stared at the gaping gory wounds that tore open tango’s stomach. He was going to be sick but he couldn’t look away as his mouth went dry as he ignored the foul smell. He could see muscle and bone in the midst of the mess in his torso, red flesh that still leaked blood slowly onto the ground and across his pale skin.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He placed his hands on the floor, gripping at the boards as he had to keep himself upright, he felt weak at the sight of the blood and fatal injury. There was no way he could have survived. If only you had come faster. Any words that he could have muttered trailed off into a diminishing garbled mess as he felt damp droplets whatever parts of his skin remained dry. Trickling down his cheeks as they chased his skin to his chin and dripped away to be replaced. A broken sob that left his throat caused his shoulders to shudder as his breathing hitched in his lungs, yet it felt useless now.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He heard a quiet whine of the ravager beside him as he saw red. This did this to him. He trembled as he clenched his fists at the creature. He was livid, distraught, broken. And that ravager caused it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Get out of here! Haven’t you done enough?” He yelled as the creature raised her head, green eyes soft and wide as she whimpered and got to her feet and nudged her master’s hand. “Leave him alone! You did this! You did this.” his voice raw as the ravager backed away and ran off deeper into the dungeon, following impulse’s echo as he caved.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was alone and he couldn’t stop his vision from blurring as much as it did, it was like he was stuck in a storm, skin numb to his core as he barely made out the blond’s form that laid sprawled in front of him. He let go of the floor as he pressed his head into his hands, choking on tears that splattered into the bloody puddles below. Blood that stained his skin and core, blood that belonged to Tango.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He eventually got the courage to crawl towards his body, splinters digging into his bare hands, he didn’t even feel it even though it reminded him that this was all real, that none of it was fake anymore. He wasn’t dreaming any of this, that he won’t wake up and realise this was all a terrible nightmare. This was reality now.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The reality that Tango was gone.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He slumped in front of his body as he stared down at him, dim red eyes wide open as he stared vacantly at the ceiling. Tanned skin was pale and stained with ruby blood, flecks of it dried into crimson and maroon freckles and moles on his dermis. Blond hair that was constantly dirty with ash and mud-stained by his blood. His clothed ruffled, torn and stained heavily. The lack of breath leaving his chest, the lack of a pulse, the lack of… the lack of him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His thoughts spiralled as he pressed his face into his hands again, his blood smeared on his face like disturbing warpaint as his sobs threatened to wash away the stains on his skin. He couldn’t stop his thoughts from running away from him as he tried to snatch them back but it felt pointless.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tango was always getting into trouble and always got out of harm’s way at last second and was okay in the end, laughing and smiling about it despite how close he was to getting killed. And now karma had splattered his guts across the floor. Now he’ll never hear his laugh again. Never see his smile.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was hopeless, his soul and heart shattered into small tiny pieces, lost in an ocean as he knelt in the sea, the bloody smell invading his mind as his tears overflowed and splashed on Tango’s face. The colour had faded from the world, the blond had taken it with him and all he wanted was for it to come back.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry tango… I’m sorry. I was- I was meant to keep you safe... I was meant to protect you.” He finally found his voice, albeit broken and splintering at every word as he forced them through the grief that choked at his mind and crashed on his shoulders like a heavy-weight. “I was meant to- meant to… be- be there for you. And fight for you- and-” He took one of tango’s hands, limp, wet, cold, may as well have been red like his eyes since the beginning. He grasped it tightly as if he could squeeze life into him. Bring him back, but he knew that once a player bled out that they permodied.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hell, he even hoped that he would squeeze it back and make some sick joke over impulse weeping over him like he loved him or something. It would have been a sick joke, impulse would have been pissed but he wished it was true. He would pay anything for it to be true.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“-I failed you.” Impulse’s voice softened, dropping to a small mutter. His words hung heavy like low hanging fruit, it had rotten into an unrecognisable carcass as the promise he made to Tango became useless and futile. He was summoned for his aid and realised that he couldn’t let that human out of sight.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And what did he do? Let him out of his sight. He let him down and now he had to pay. It was like he had stabbed himself in the back, twisting a poisoned sword deeper and deeper into his spine and ribs and leaving it there to rip the handle from the cavity like a plaster on a would, the plain clamped his shoulders disapprovingly, swallowing his happiness and snuffing him into darkness and shoving him into the shadows with no light left to guide him home.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The pain of a contract being ripped into shreds, a failed contract made him whimper as fresh tears gathered in his eyes as he clasped Tango by the vest, clutching the heavy blood-stained material in a vice grip that made his bloody hand’s knuckles go white as he rested his head on his still, silent chest, face in his shirt as he folded in on himself. The tears came hard as he wept an ocean. Waves splashing at his feet as he screwed up his eyes. He had no dignity left, nose and eyes red and bloodshot from his sobbing as snot leaked from his nose that he sniffled occasionally that it caused his nose to clog and burn.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘</span>
  <em>
    <span>The first rule of a demon,</span>
  </em>
  <span>’ His father told him, ‘</span>
  <em>
    <span>don’t get attached to who summons you, just do your job and leave. It makes it easier than sticking around and realising that the world out there is cruel. Crueller than you realise.’</span>
  </em>
  <span> He hadn’t paid much attention to him then but he couldn’t not get attached to Tango, he was the first person to see him as a person, the first person who showed him how to live again when his father died. When he had been forced into a marriage to secure an heir and take the throne, he became scared as he had lost control, he already lost the one person who mattered to him and was still grieving and when Tango summoned him before his own wedding to help him, Impulse couldn’t help but feel like Tango was helping him. He hadn’t separated from him since. Then Zed came and he felt like he belonged, like he found a family he never had. They taught him how to live, how to be happy, so who was going to teach him how to do it again now that he was gone? Fluttering away like a wilted delicate leaf in an autumn breeze.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A hand on his shoulder jolted him out of his trance as he was ripped away, hands under his shoulders and dragging him away as he tried to clutch onto tango, but his weak grasp slipped and he was pulled away as Impulse screamed. Clawing at his captor’s hands with his nails as he writhed in his hands and kicked at him, he barely registered them calling his name as gloved fingerless gloves and something hard and solid against his back as all he could hear was his heartbeat deafening him as his eyes locked with Tango. No no he’s not leaving him! Their grip was like a clamp on his shirt and shoulders as he tried to drag his feet as much as possible and kick at him. It became harder and harder to see his body as he fought with all he could, but the person didn’t relent, didn’t wince or hesitate. Their grip didn’t give at all.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He continued to scratch at his skin with the claws on his fingers, it just left him smelling more blood on the edge of his tongue as he thrashed like a feral animal, growling and seething at the mouth as he resorted to biting at them with sharp fangs as his tail thumped on the ground heavily as he tore himself free and ran back to him. With a dull thud, he crashed beside him, his adrenaline worn out as he gathered the blond in his arms and hugged him close to his chest as the droplets fell, blearing his vision as the colours muddled together. He could only see red anymore, anger, loss and grey. Bitterness and emptiness.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He couldn’t make out who was there until they knelt in front of his, hands raised as he saw honey yellow cloud his gaze. Were they speaking? Or did no words fall out of their mouth? He couldn’t hear over his shaky laboured breathing, over his desperate pleas that tumbled like a shattered mantra between clenched teeth. A wall of grey and purple obscured their face, he assumed it was someone he knew since they didn’t lash out at him as he did. Patience in their wait and their actions. Impulse’s eyes followed their hands as they reached for their head, black orbs following him curiously as he shuffled back.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The click of them taking the helmet was the click to cause all the noise to come rushing back, the pounding in his ears, his own desperate fluttering breathing. The dripping of water and blood on floorboards and stone, the distant broken whir of redstone in the depths that had been untouched, if there was any. His own weak sobs as he felt overwhelmed as everything crashed on him. The weight of his senses had no remorse as he smelt copper on his tongue, he could feel every inch of the crimson sludge on his skin and clothes as it clung to him, feel the coldness of tango’s clammy skin, he looked away from the man in front of him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He could tell the gaze of the admin on him, concerned blue eyes etched into his soul, his wounded arm at his side as he set his helmet down on the floor and approached, boots clacking on the ground as he spoke. Impulse ignored him as much as he could, guilt churned in his stomach. He attacked him, he hurt him, because he couldn’t control himself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Impulse, it’s okay. We’ll find a way.” He urged as Impulse forced himself to look up at the weathered brunette, their admin was tired and it was clear from the rings around his eyes and damp splotches on his skin that even he had been distraught over it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s not coming back.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The words were broken and choppy, garbled as he ignored the sooty tinged skin on his hands as he tried to relax enough to transform back. The sorrow and loss in his eyes drilled into X’s.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll try to bring him back, whatever it takes. I promise.” Xisuma urged as he knelt in front of him, placing a firm hand on his shoulder.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t bother with promises.” Impulse spat. “You only end up breaking them.” His face was expressionless as he stared at the broken body in his arms.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know.” Xisuma caught on his tone as he squeezed his shoulder.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Impulse blinked hard as the tears dripped down as he raised his arm to wipe them away and sniffle into his blood crusted skin, the flakes peeled away on his face as whatever hadn’t dried was smeared across his face like disturbing warpaint. His hands grew weak as Tango was taken from him. He wished he was there for him. At least he wouldn’t have died alone.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Someone grabbed his arm and pulled him to his feet, the demon’s knees caved as the person wasn’t prepared for him and wrapped his arm around their shoulders as he caught some yell, it was garbled slightly as his gaze fell to the murky bloodstained floor as he was dragged away. He gave up and let them take him away.</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t even say goodbye.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Sorry impulse.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. It feels like falling, it feels like rain. Like I'm loosing my balance again and again.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sorry, it's taking so long for me to do any form of posts, I'm not really in a great spot at all right now and this was all I could manage. I still want to write the story, I just have no energy to. This chapter isn't exactly perfect but it will have to do. I apologise for it being so short but I didn't exactly know what else to do. I have a direction and a plan for the story just not the brain power to do it.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>When he came to, his head pounded as his body ached, he hadn’t been paying attention to where he was and he found himself tangled in cold bed sheets as he blinked awake sluggishly. Eyes stiff as he groaned and saw a hazy figure in front of him. He squinted at them as he groaned, their features blurred together and in his destroyed mind he hoped with a string of doubt as he croaked out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sweat beaded on his brow over the nightmare of yesterday and what followed it, he weakly made out blond hair, tanned skin, he held onto a small string of hope before it faded at the moment the word ushered out of his mouth,</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Tango?” His voice was hoarse, strained as he rubbed his eyes and the figure came into focus.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“Hey Impulse,” Zedaph muttered softly as he rubbed at his face. “You okay?” The Brit realised how stupid his question was when he was met with silence as impulse looked away and tried to realise where he woke. “I should have expected that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Impulse’s quietness continued as he made out the polished quartz walls of his own base, the dull cyan terracotta as he dropped his head back on the bed as he sighed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It was real wasn’t it?” He asked softly, his gaze hazy as he focused on Zed as he knelt in front of his bed and reached out for his hand.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.” The blond replied. The weight of the truth was heavy as his shoulders dropped. “It is.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Zed looked how he felt. Like someone had picked up his world and smashed it to bits with a hammer and tried to tape it back together. It wasn’t the same anymore. Sure they still all had each other but that didn’t change the fact that they had lost one of their own.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Xisuma and Doc brought you back home, they’re worried about you. We all are.” Zed added as he picked up his confusion as impulse had furrowed his brows slightly as he stared at the ceiling. “Do you want me to grab you some water or some food?” He offered.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Impulse didn’t answer, he couldn’t, he couldn’t just continue like nothing ever happened and that Tango never existed. How the hell was Zed just pretending it was okay. Tango’s dead! He’s dead and he’s- Impulse didn’t understand. Wasn’t he important to him too? Wasn’t he important to them all? Didn’t he matter to them? Or was his death meaningless?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Does it even matter that he’s gone to you?” the words left his mouth before he could even think about it and process what he was inferring to the blond, unable to take it back as the wide-eyed hurt traversed his tanned face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course it does!” Zed snapped somewhat, </span>
  <em>
    <span>he was hurting too Impulse, you know that. </span>
  </em>
  <span>The guilt knotted in his throat more than before as he refused to look at him. “He’s my best friend too Impulse, of course, it matters.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then how have you moved on?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I haven’t. I just know that life is a feeble thing and you shouldn’t be hung up over something that can’t be changed. I wish he would come back, I do. But I accept that he won’t.” The blond replied evenly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then why can’t I move on?” Impulse replied softly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because you’re guilty, you haven’t had closure for what happened. You want him to come back more than anything.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How do you know?” he asked faintly, voice uncertain despite knowing and hating the answer.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because it’s happened before.” The world around him fell away as he shook his head, he wasn’t going to think about him, no he wasn’t.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Please leave.” He stated evenly as he stared at the sea lantern above him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Impulse-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Just go.” Impulse replied as he heard Zed get to his feet and back out of the room without a word, a hand hanging on the doorframe for a second. It didn’t take long for him to hear the explosion of fireworks leave his base.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Impulse sat up and curled into himself as he cried into his hands and lap. He’ll remember Tango. He’ll always try to remember him, no matter what. He couldn’t let go of him yet. The sombre memories grasped at him as he let them pull him under.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Impulse tried to move on, he really did. But he felt there was no motivation to try to do anything, his base grew dustier as his shops grew emptier. He would lay on his bed staring endlessly at the ceiling without a care as he became a victim of his own thoughts.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Do you think Tango would want to see you like this? See you so pathetic and weak? You’re such a joke.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was trying. But he couldn’t just move past what happened. Whenever he closed his eyes he could see his blood, his wide dull eyes, his pale skin, his scared eyes pleading to him. He just wanted to be saved and he wasn’t fast enough.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You’re such a fraud, you’re such a fake friend. Why was he ever friends with you? You just let them all down, don’t you?</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was a good friend. Right? He tried his best to do what people wanted of him, tried to always be there for them and help them when they needed someone. So who was going to help him when he helped everyone else?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Because you don’t deserve it. You let him go now they are going to let you down.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Impulse didn’t mean to let him go, he desperately clawed at him as he wished to just keep him alive, he wished he could have saved him. He had always been there in the past and always pulling the chaotic man up off his feet when a Redstone experiment went wrong, always collecting his items when he died and respawned. So why did it fail this time?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He had no answers to the questions tormenting him as he clawed at his eyes with his fingers, he had to do something, had to try anything. There was no energy left in him to try anything, but when had that stopped him before. He forced himself to his feet and stumbled through his base as he eyed his storage systems, he had been that still that the server had considered him as AFK for several days now. Time to try to restock his shops because he couldn’t let the rest of the server down?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He had to keep them happy before they came for his head too. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he agreed that it was justified.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>--</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It had been a long night of grinding at his guardian farm, slaying the mobs by his netherite blade. It was supposed to be automatic but he needed to feel something other than numbing guilt and crippling betrayal towards himself. Impulse felt the spines of the aquatic creatures ripping at his skin for his beacon to come into effect and heal the wounds. Skin tearing over and over again on his hands, wrists aching and sore as blood would bead on his hands and drip from vanished wounds. The pain was grounding, brought him to the present and kept him out of his thoughts and stopped him from spiralling as it kept his own voice at bay.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He didn’t mind when they targeted him, their beam weakening him and making him dizzy. The lack of food and energy in his body, caused his vision to dance and spots to fizzle in his peripherals as his vision would tunnel before clearing. It was random enough that whenever it got dark, Impulse was jarred out of it unintentionally.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His blade was slick in his hands, hard to hold as his arms shook in exertion as he slashed and slashed as hard as he could. His whole resources were empty and he needed to restock all the chests as soon as possible then he could stop for a while. He didn’t know how long he had to do this until the system would be fully sorted but it didn’t really matter when this was the only thing keeping him sane.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was hard to tell what was blood and what wasn’t when his hands were stained in his lifeline, but he pushed himself on. He couldn’t stop until this was done, couldn’t stop till they were all dead. Impulse was panting desperately from exhaustion as he worked, sweat on his back as he heard the shriek of phantoms wanting to get him but slammed straight into the glass, thank gods. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He forced himself to step away when the sun came up and blinded him,  he held a bloodstained hand up to his eyes as he watched the sunrise. The sun reminded him a lot of Tango, bright, bold, lively and warm. Its presence was reassuring. He tore his gaze away; he didn’t want to think like this after all he had done to stop himself. On the other hand, Zedaph reminded him of the moon, mysterious, calm, chilled, but also pretty chaotic.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Impulse sheathed his sword as he stumbled to the storage, pushing open his chests and shulkers to see them full of shards. Perfect. This was good to do some crafting with. The early morning sun beat down on him as he got to work and set out empty shulker boxes. Open the chest, grab the materials, craft, open the shulker, dump the resources, break the shulker, open the chest, dump the shulker, close the chest, and then repeat. It was repetitive too, the consistency was grounding but had a level of complexity despite how autopiloted his movements were due to the wet blood smears on his fingers.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He straightened up as the sun hung at his shoulders, his back warm while his black t-shirt stuck to his skin. He wiped his forehead and the slight change in his posture and elevation caused his balance to sway as he gripped the crafting table. He trembled slightly as his knuckles went white as he panted. The spots dancing across his vision were many and distracting as he tried to deepen his breathing and relaxed. He felt lightheaded and exhausted as he blinked his eyes to clear his sights and found it did absolutely nothing to help him. He winced as his vision split and the world fell out around him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p><span>There was a thud as he met the glass, it cracked under him as his hopes crashed through the feeble material. His hand stretched out as he didn’t even bother to save himself and let himself plummet.<br/><br/></span>The wind ruffled at his hair like a considerate hand, teasing him like a little kid as his eyes widened. Clouds ghosting at his face like a delicate, caring touch, an intimate brush against his skin as his clothes ripped at his frame as he accepted his fate. Eyes closing as he reached up towards the sun. Impulse didn’t bother summoning his wings to save him, didn’t bother to fight as water splashed around him.</p><p>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>He sank fast and quickly as his eyes began to close in the darkness, the ocean swallowing his vision whole as he lacked the energy to swim, to scream, to cry out as his vision faded to black.</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Impulse swore he saw the blond’s hand stretched out towards him, trying to grasp at him within the murky depths as the kelp dragged him down. Swore he heard his voice scream out for him as cold fingers met his own. The demon couldn’t even open his eyes to tell as the water seeped in and dragged him into the darkness.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I apologise if there's any typos or mistakes, please let me know.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Author's Note, Sorry guys</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hi everyone.</p><p>Fair warning, this story is going to be going on haitus for a long time due to some situation that's happened that has put me in impulse's shoes in this story. I cannot work on this piece right now as it is too triggering to me. I will work on this eventually when I've recovered more. Apologies guys, ill try to work on my other story or oneshots but right now my mental health is pretty poor and I may change my username to something else, its still my account though so don't worry if a different name is posting how to save a life etc.</p><p>In the meantime, please post some requests that I could write for me to try to get back into the groove of writing again. I'll take ship requests, no smut but angst and fluff is very welcome. They can be Hermitcraft, 3rd life, or even relating to the among us or phasmophobia streams that Impulse, skizz and tango do. Aus are also welcome.</p><p>I hope to be more active on here but for now ill try to post every so often.</p>
  </div></div>
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